I was always taught that America was a special nation. We were “given” a land rich with resources and filled with diverse groups working hard for the betterment of the country and our planet. I love the idea of America. I truly want to believe that this is the “land of the free.” I want to believe this is a nation modeled on the teachings of Jesus. When I hear the national anthem, I want to feel that same spirit of patriotism that flows so easily through many Americans. I want to feel proud that this land is “my land” and that it was made for “you and me.” In theory, America should be the greatest country on earth—one that embraces the richness of its land and celebrates the diversity of its people.

But the problem with this view is that this version of America…does not exist.

To illustrate, let’s consider a story.

Imagine a massive, muddy hole in the ground with three people trapped inside. The walls are too slick and high to climb, leaving them desperate, calling out for anyone who might hear. After what feels like an eternity, a ladder finally appears, descending from above. The three look at each other, stunned by this glimmer of hope, yet uncertain if the ladder is sturdy enough to carry them to safety. One of them volunteers to test it, stepping out carefully. As he climbs higher, his heart races with a mix of fear and anticipation. Finally, he reaches the top and pulls himself out, feeling the warmth and freedom of the world above.

But as he stands there, basking in his newfound freedom, a flicker of doubt crosses his mind. He wonders, What if they come up too? What if there’s not enough space or opportunity for us all? That initial sense of liberation shifts to something darker—a fear that his freedom might somehow be diminished if others share it. And so, he does the unthinkable: he pulls the ladder up, leaving the others behind, ensuring he’s the lone escapee.

It’s a tragic story, isn’t it? You might be thinking, If he just let the others climb up, they could all find freedom together! Most people who hear this story likely feel the same way. The sad truth, however, is that this is the story of America. Rather than welcoming others with open arms and using our diversity to build a richer, more inclusive society, we consistently do the opposite. We have used the lives and labor of others to enrich ourselves, regardless of the cost to those left behind. The America enshrined in the second paragraph of our Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” is, in many ways, a fairy tale, as distant and mythical as the great stories of ancient gods.

For every step forward this country takes, there seems to be a step back—a negative reaction that chips away at progress. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was an incredible piece of legislation that protected the voting rights of millions of Americans, yet in its wake, voter suppression has resurged. In 2015, the landmark case Obergefell v. Hodges legalized same-sex marriage, granting many Americans the freedom to marry who they love. But soon after, we saw protections for the LGBTQ+ community erode in various ways. This is what America is: the land of the see-saw. For every progression we gain, there’s an action taken to erode it.

Progress in America is like a pendulum, swinging back and forth. It moves forward, reaches a peak, but inevitably swings back in the other direction. This back-and-forth motion keeps us in a state of oscillation rather than true advancement. It gives us just enough hope to believe in change, only to have our hearts ripped out when the counter-reaction comes.

This pattern holds a special and negative place in my heart because of my upbringing in the American Christian church. It’s a trauma that started from my early days in Sunday School. As a child I was taught in church to love our neighbor and pray for those who are against us. I was taught to trust our pastors, trust the church, and pray for our elected leaders because, in the end, the church is led by the Lord and God has a plan for our “blessed” nation. I believed them and I trusted in this church and nation. I saw my country to be a beautiful place that, while it struggled in the past, is turning around and becoming a nation built on love and respect. So, when I heard these sayings in Sunday School, I took them to heart. These sayings and phrases sounded so good on the surface, but as I grew in age, I slowly realized that they failed to acknowledge the poison that has been within the church and this country since its inception

Take, for instance, the founding fathers. They hold a special place in our society, and we revere them for the actions they took to secure our freedom from the hands of the British. If we stopped at the surface, that would be a correct outlook but what the founding fathers did came at the cost of black and native lives. The land that they built came on the backs of slave labor and the land they stole was taken from people(s) who had lived here for thousands of years. The Christian leaders like Jonathan Edwards and others spread the Gospel in this land and spoke so highly of God’s redeeming love but maintained slave ownership. Rather than talk about our leaders and founders in the complex light of truth, we refer to them simply as “people of a different time” Yet, these “leaders” valued the oppression of people of a certain color over manumission. When the first nations people rose up to protect themselves, the crushed their rebellion and sequestered them to reservations. They gave African slaves the Bible as a means to “save” their souls but conveniently omitted any Biblical reference to liberation. This is indicative of what this nation has always been. It’s not the “land of the free” but rather a home for the privileged. Here, people are not created equal; instead, the many are subservient to the few who have more.

The most disheartening aspect of America is how it’s poor revere those who oppress them. Many of the poor and middle class would rather live under the yoke of injustice than do everything in their power to eradicate it. It reminds me of the story of the Israelites in the Torah. After hundreds of years under Egyptian oppression, YHWH set them free. Yet this joy of freedom was short-lived, as many soon complained to Moses about their hardships. They said, “Why is the Lord bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?” The Egyptians were their captors, but because the concept of radical freedom was so frightening, they would rather live under oppression.

This mindset brings us to where we are now. Donald Trump has won the presidency again, and for a large section of the country, there is happiness that their chosen leader has returned. Meanwhile, in the Trump campaign, there are promises of large-scale deportation operations, and phrases like “taking our country back” resonate more than calls to love and embrace your neighbor. Many respond to this by saying we should “worry about our own country first.” Some may even express sadness at how others’ lives are affected but will prioritize Americans as they define them, rather than extending compassion to all within our borders. It’s puzzling for a nation that claims such high ideals of love, and even more confusing when this is purportedly a “Christian” nation.

In some ways, I agree. America is a Christian nation in the same sense as the Roman Empire was during the height of the Catholic Church’s power. We elect leaders who speak of the Gospel and profess their love for God. Many donate to charity and attend worship regularly. From this perspective, it is indeed a “Christian” nation. However, alongside this declaration lies a disturbing truth: America is also a godless nation. While its ideals are lofty, its actions resemble those of nations we deem “terroristic.” Our culture prioritizes power and wealth over love and generosity. Success is measured in dollar amounts, not in the lives we uplift. America is a home of religion but often to people who have never truly encountered the God they believe they serve.

So, where does this leave us?

From my perspective, we face a choice. We can give in to the desire to insulate ourselves from others and focus only on our own needs. This is, after all, the most American thing we could do. It’s easy, requiring little work or sacrifice, and comes naturally. But our other option is to press on. It’s not a flashy or glamorous option, and it can feel like starting from scratch. Many people will help those around them until the lack of progress depresses them, and they retreat into their own realities.

Yet, every so often, there’s a moment when the tide starts to shift, and real change takes root. A life of service can transform someone who is struggling. An act of selflessness can ripple beyond your lifetime, touching lives in ways you may never see. Yes, evil will continue to propagate, but in its wake are those who need help. Some will accept your help and go on to help others, while others will take the help and pull up the ladder behind them, saving only themselves. This truth is hard, but it is no reason to stop serving. Instead, it is a call to press on even harder.

While I don’t understand this country’s decisions or where its future lies, I know that as a child, many people went out of their way to ensure I grew up loved. Though my heart is heavy with the reality we live in, I know that, like all things, evil has a time limit. I will do what I can to share the gift of love and service because one day, light will shine further, and there will be those who need others to serve them. So, I’m going to make sure I let the ladder down with you and raise up everyone around me and I hope you will too.